Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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