Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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