I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
