Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
