Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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