his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
