Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
