i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
