So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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