Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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