wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
