2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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