I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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