A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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