Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
