I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
