on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
