Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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