My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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