OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
