I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
