God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
