i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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