i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
