for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A+ Viking dick
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