their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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