It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
