I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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