I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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