sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Randomize
