how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
COCAINE IS GR8
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
