I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
