dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
