I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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