My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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