I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize