Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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