so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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