I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
