Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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