If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
