Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
