I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
