Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
