I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your cock deserves a montage
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
