I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
