doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
