Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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