Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
