i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
