Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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