Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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