I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
