the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He felt like a one man threesome
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
