in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
