Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
