he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ladies don't puke and tell
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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